I’ve seen a lot of relationship advice over the years, but nothing quite as confusing, contradictory, and downright chaotic as what’s currently coming out of Gen Z’s corner of the internet. I’m not here to knock an entire generation—I think they’re smart, emotionally aware, and refreshingly open—but some of the stuff I’ve seen lately? Wow. Just… wow.

One minute it’s “never double text,” the next it’s “if he’s not obsessed with you after five minutes, he’s not the one.” People are out here making up rules, inventing new red flags, and diagnosing commitment issues based on whether someone uses emojis. And don’t even get me started on the trend of “if they don’t post you, they don’t love you.” I’m sorry, but if your relationship depends on whether or not someone uploads a story of your coffee date, maybe there are bigger issues at play.

It’s like dating has turned into a performance—a game of who can be the coolest, most detached, most mysterious version of themselves. Feelings? Gross. Vulnerability? Weakness. Heaven forbid you actually like someone and tell them. That’s “simp energy.” But here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: playing it cool will only get you so far. Eventually, someone has to care.

I’m not saying we should all go full Shakespearean sonnet on the second date. But somewhere between ghosting and love bombing, there has to be a middle ground. A place where you can say, “Hey, I like spending time with you,” without feeling like you’ve just broken some unspoken dating code.

What worries me most about the advice floating around is how much of it is based on fear—fear of being hurt, rejected, left behind. And I get it. Dating can be brutal. But when you start making choices based on fear rather than connection, you build walls instead of bridges. You trade honesty for strategy. And suddenly, dating becomes less about finding a match and more about winning some imaginary game.

I’ve fallen into that trap before. I’ve waited too long to reply to a message just so I wouldn’t seem too eager. I’ve avoided saying how I really felt because I didn’t want to be “too much.” I’ve played the part of the chill guy while quietly hoping for something real. But here’s what I’ve learned: when you filter yourself too much, the people who might love the real you never get a chance to meet you.

The best relationships I’ve had didn’t follow a script. They didn’t involve strategy. They involved showing up, being kind, asking real questions, and allowing awkwardness instead of running from it. They grew slowly, with intention. They weren’t about perfect aesthetics—they were about connection.

So no, I’m not taking my dating advice from people lip-syncing their trauma for likes or stitching together complicated flowcharts on who should text first. I’m sticking with the basics: respect, honesty, warmth, and a bit of cheeky humour. I’m choosing presence over perfection. And I’m okay with being a little uncool if it means being authentic.

To anyone feeling overwhelmed by all the dating advice online—breathe. You don’t need to follow a trend to find love. You don’t need a clever caption or the perfect texting strategy. You just need to be yourself, consistently and kindly. The right people will recognise that. And the wrong ones? Well, let them scroll.

This is Dating Dave, proudly old school in all the right ways—still believing that the best dating advice comes from the heart, not the algorithm.