I’m lucky enough to have many friends, from many walks of life. Occasionally I’m asked to step in and help them in live dating situations, rather than just providing the theory and psychology that can be helpful. This happened just last night, for a friend with Asperger’s. I’m always happy to help!
It doesn’t matter what abilities, disabilities, or neuro diversity your friends have, there’s a certain general etiquette that can be followed to be “the perfect wingman” for them. For example, being the perfect wingman for a friend with Asperger’s on a dance floor involves being supportive, understanding their needs, and helping them feel comfortable in social situations. Here are some steps you can take to help your friend engage with others on the dance floor:
Preparation: Talk to your friend beforehand about their expectations and concerns. Discuss any specific challenges they might face, such as sensory sensitivities or social anxiety. This will help you better understand their needs and preferences.
Choose the right environment: Select a venue that’s not overly crowded or noisy to minimize sensory overload. This will make it easier for your friend to engage with others and enjoy the experience.
Be a good example: Lead by example and show your friend how to engage in conversation and dance with others. Your positive energy and enthusiasm will help them feel more at ease.
Introductions: Help your friend by introducing them to others on the dance floor. Be sure to mention their name and provide some context for the introduction, which can serve as a conversation starter.
Encourage conversation: Gently encourage your friend to participate in conversations. Offer suggestions on topics they might be interested in, and prompt them to share their thoughts or experiences.
Be mindful of personal space: People with Asperger’s may have difficulty understanding social cues, such as personal space. Gently remind your friend to be aware of their proximity to others, especially when dancing.
Be patient: Your friend may need more time to process information and respond in social situations. Be patient and understanding if they take longer to engage in conversation or join in dancing.
Offer support: If your friend feels overwhelmed or anxious, be there to provide emotional support. Encourage them to take a break or step outside for some fresh air if needed.
Keep an eye on body language: Pay attention to your friend’s body language and facial expressions. If they seem uncomfortable or overwhelmed, step in to help or offer support.
Reflect and learn: After the event, talk with your friend about their experience. Discuss what worked well and what could be improved. Use this feedback to make future outings even more enjoyable and successful.
By being considerate, patient, and supportive, you can be an excellent wingman and help your friend with Asperger’s enjoy their time on the dance floor. And Dating Dave will always be supportive of doing that!