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There’s a new trend doing the rounds on social media, and I have to say, it’s got a lot of people second-guessing their dating flow. The trend? The “No Texting Until We Meet” rule. The idea is simple: once you match on a dating app, you agree not to get into any texting or messaging conversations. Instead, you skip the small talk, skip the voice notes, skip the flirty emojis, and just meet up in person to see if the connection is real. Sounds bold, right?

Bold, maybe. But is it smart? Let’s unpack it—Dating Dave style.

At first glance, this rule might feel refreshing. We’re all tired of endless back-and-forths that go nowhere. We’ve all had “textationships” that burn bright for a week and then fizzle when it comes to locking in an actual date. So sure, cutting through the chatter and getting straight to the meet-up feels like a way to separate the serious from the time-wasters. But here’s the kicker—communication is the lifeblood of early connection. Skipping it altogether? That’s like ordering a meal without reading the menu. You might be surprised—but not always in a good way.

The truth is, texting before a date isn’t just filler. It’s a form of early vetting. It helps you get a sense of someone’s tone, humour, attention span, and most importantly—their intentions. When someone avoids messaging altogether, it doesn’t always mean they’re serious. Sometimes, it just means they want shortcuts. And shortcuts in dating often lead to dead ends.

Let’s talk safety too. Especially in today’s world, where catfishing, time-wasting, and flakiness are real, messaging offers a crucial layer of protection. You pick up on red flags, inconsistencies, or odd vibes that help you decide whether someone’s worth your time. If you skip that phase entirely, you’re flying blind. Not every date is harmless. Texting gives you context. It gives you control.

Now, let me be fair. I get why the “no texting” rule appeals. People are tired. Swiping fatigue is real. Conversations that go on for days only to lead nowhere are draining. I’ve seen people spend weeks chatting and building imaginary relationships in their heads, only to meet and feel nothing. So yes, in some cases, cutting to the chase could save time—but only if you’ve got a foundation of mutual trust and respect to begin with.

Here’s the real problem: these “rules” sound good in theory but rarely work in the wild. Relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all. What works for one person can be disastrous for another. For some, the pre-date texting phase is how they build comfort and confidence. For others, too much chatting kills the mystery. But here’s what I know for sure: banning communication before a meet-up removes the very thing that sets up a strong connection—conversation.

If you’re sick of endless messaging, I hear you. But instead of eliminating it completely, refine it. Set expectations. Be intentional. You don’t need to message all day every day—but a few solid exchanges can help you feel excited instead of anxious going into that first date. Ask meaningful questions. Pay attention to how they respond. Use voice notes or short videos to bridge the gap if you’re worried about vibe.

And let’s be real for a moment. Most people who push the “no texting” rule aren’t doing it to improve communication—they’re doing it because they want a low-effort experience. They want a quick fix. But healthy dating takes effort. It takes time. And yes—it takes a bit of messaging.

You wouldn’t walk into a job interview without reading the job description. So why would you walk into a date with zero idea of who the person really is?

I say, forget the trends. Do what feels respectful, real, and aligned with your values. If texting feels exhausting, adjust how you do it. Don’t ghost. Don’t breadcrumb. Don’t fall into the trap of “messaging pen pals.” But also—don’t fall for a challenge that makes connection harder than it needs to be.

And here’s something I remind my clients of all the time: the way someone handles pre-date communication tells you a lot about how they’ll handle things down the line. Are they consistent? Kind? Responsive? Do they follow through? If they don’t show those qualities in messages, they’re unlikely to suddenly bring them to the table in person.

Dating is already full of uncertainty. Why make it harder by silencing your own instincts and needs?

So here’s my Dating Dave advice for this one: message just enough to feel curious—but not so much that it feels like a chore. Use your gut. If something feels off, believe it. And if someone refuses to message at all, ask yourself why. Sometimes confidence is just laziness in disguise.

Be bold, yes. Be brave. But never be so impatient for connection that you skip the very things that create it.

Love doesn’t come from rules. It comes from presence. From interest. From two people willing to show up and engage—text by text, word by word, date by date.

You deserve a connection that builds, not one that pressures.

And trust me—if someone’s really worth meeting? They’ll want to talk first.