If you or your partner suffer from depression, dating needs to be approached differently to normal. Love is a chemical cocktail, and meeting someone for the first few times can feel a bit like going on a wild roller coaster. Mixing new love with depression is like throwing petrol on a fire filled with lust and jealousy, as trust isn’t initially there, and it takes time to grow. You’ve got to take things slowly, and carefully, to make it through alive. Here are a few quick tips to help you deal with your depression, before you start dating:

Tip 1: Surround yourself with same sex people. Shoot the breeze with your friends and trade stories of life and experiences without the added pressures of having to look deep into a potential partner’s eyes and worrying about making a good impression. This will help you to feel connected to other people, and also gives you a good chance to improve communications.

Tip 2: Practice good mental hygiene every morning. In the same way that you shower or brush your teeth each morning, wake up and think about 3 things you’re grateful for. Doing this can help your mind to shift into a positive state – and it’s a great mindfulness exercise too. Having a positive mindset helps your dating life and your interactions with others.

Tip 3: Keep yourself busy. If you’re constantly occupied doing things, it’s almost impossible to get depressed. Keeping your mind occupied will stop you concentrating on things that worry you or stress you out. If you start to have negative thoughts, go for a run or walk or take a walk to your local cafe and have a coffee and cake. Just doing something different and breaking your regular routine can provide positive excitement for your mind.

Tip 4: Aim to learn new things. Finding a new hobby or learning a new skill or musical instrument is a great way to pass time, and to find something to concentrate on. It’s even better if you can share hobbies with your partner. Some depression is due to our brains replaying past emotional traumas over and over, leading to over-thinking. Keep your brain active and growing by learning new things, and the older memories will fade over time – and hopefully depression will gradually become a distant memory.

Tip 5: Get up and get moving. Don’t stay in bed if you’re depressed. Even if you’ve got nowhere to go and nothing to do, get up and make your bed. Start your day in a positive frame of mind by achieving something as simple as making the bed, whilst also making your home environment more comfortable for you and more welcoming for others. That’s a win-win! Reducing procrastination and getting on with things is a good skill to learn to, and will help you with planning and attending further dates also.

Let me know how you get on with these tips. At all times, aim to keep positive and keep moving forward. Your future is bright and just ahead!