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There’s something magical about the way kids see the world. No filters, no facades, no long-winded TED Talks or Instagram therapy terms. Just raw, straight-up honesty—often hilarious, often profound, and almost always more useful than we give it credit for. I stumbled across a viral video the other day where a bunch of kids were asked about love and dating. I laughed, I nodded, and to be honest, I learned a thing or two.

One little guy said, “If you want someone to like you, you should probably smell nice and share your lunch.” Another chimed in with, “Don’t be mean to girls. Just say nice things and maybe they’ll want to sit next to you.” One girl, probably all of six years old, said with total confidence, “If he makes you cry, don’t talk to him anymore. You can do better.”

And just like that, I realised: we adults complicate the hell out of relationships.

We analyze every text. We buy books and watch videos and hire coaches and spend hours dissecting how someone said “hi” in a message. We get caught up in strategies and games and power dynamics. But what if we just went back to basics? What if we allowed the wisdom of kids to reset our grown-up love lives?

Let’s break it down. “Smell nice and share your lunch.” That’s not just about hygiene and food. That’s about showing up thoughtfully and giving something of value. Do you arrive to a date looking like you’ve made an effort? Are you generous—not just with things, but with time, attention, and kindness? When a kid says “share your lunch,” what they’re really saying is “bring something to the table.” That could mean emotional availability, curiosity, humor, or simply the ability to listen without turning the conversation back to yourself. It’s about not showing up empty.

“Don’t be mean. Say nice things.” This should be obvious, but in the age of sarcasm, negging, and ironic detachment, sometimes kindness gets lost. We think teasing shows confidence. We think banter is flirting. Sure, it can be. But it can also come across as cold or dismissive if we’re not paying attention to the energy we give off. Kids get it. If you like someone, you show it. You’re nice. You say good things. You cheer them on. That doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.

Then there’s the mic-drop wisdom of “If he makes you cry, don’t talk to him anymore.” Brutal. Brilliant. And probably something a lot of us need tattooed on our hearts. Emotional self-respect is something many adults learn too late. We stay in situations where we’re undervalued, hoping things will change. We excuse bad behavior because of chemistry or history or hope. But kids? They draw the line quickly. If it hurts, it’s not worth it. Move on.

So what does this all mean for us as daters in the adult world? It means we need to strip back the noise. Get out of our own heads. Ditch the rules that say, “Don’t text back too fast” or “Make them chase you.” Kids don’t play games. They just feel something and act on it. Yes, we need boundaries. Yes, we need maturity. But we also need more sincerity. More joy. More honesty about how we feel, and less shame about showing it.

One boy in the video said, “You can tell if someone likes you if they laugh at your jokes, even the ones that aren’t funny.” That one stuck with me. Because underneath that sweet observation is a truth about connection. We’re not always looking for the person who’s technically the best match on paper. We’re looking for the person who lights up when we’re around. Who sees us and responds. Who makes us feel safe enough to be our weird, messy, unfiltered selves.

There was another child who said, “Love is when you miss someone when they’re not around and you want to share your cookies with them.” Beautiful. Because real love is about presence. It’s about thinking of someone not just when it’s convenient, but when it matters. It’s about prioritising them in the small ways—checking in, sharing little joys, making them feel included in your day. Love isn’t some grand, dramatic gesture. It’s cookies. It’s texts. It’s letting them pick the movie. It’s remembering how they like their coffee.

As Dating Dave, I’ve seen all types of dating stories. The ones where people overthink themselves out of great connections. The ones where games go on so long that nobody wins. The ones where people keep going back to someone who keeps hurting them. And every time, I want to say—watch those kids again. Listen to the clarity in their voices. They’re not cynical yet. They’re not jaded. They don’t have heartbreak baggage. They just tell the truth.

It’s not about being childish. It’s about being childlike—open, honest, and kind. It’s about remembering that at the heart of it all, we’re just humans wanting to be seen, appreciated, and loved. The rest is packaging.

So here’s my Dating Dave challenge to you: Go on your next date like a kid would. Not literally—don’t show up with peanut butter sandwiches and cartoon socks (unless that’s your thing). But go with curiosity. With openness. With the intention to be kind, to share, to listen, and to have fun. Don’t try to win. Don’t try to impress. Just show up. Be real. Be thoughtful. Be interested.

And if it doesn’t work out? Don’t cry about it too long. Like the wise six-year-old said, “You can do better.” There’s always someone else who’ll want to share their cookies too.

– Dating Dave