Moving in together has long been considered a major milestone in a relationship. In fact, for many couples, cohabitation has been seen as the natural next step on the road to engagement, marriage, or shared life. But in 2025, a new trend is flipping that script. It’s called no-habiting, and it’s gaining traction fast.

No-habiting is exactly what it sounds like: choosing not to move in with your romantic partner—even in serious, long-term relationships. And while it may sound unconventional or even a bit cold at first, many couples are embracing it as a healthier, more intentional way to build lasting love.

This isn’t about keeping emotional distance or fearing commitment. Quite the opposite. For many people, no-habiting is a way to preserve individuality, maintain balance, and avoid the common pitfalls that come with shared domestic life. It’s the idea that love can thrive without sharing a bathroom schedule, grocery list, or power bill.

What’s behind the trend? A few things. For starters, housing costs are higher than ever, especially in places like Auckland and Wellington. Cohabiting often makes financial sense—but it can also trap people in relationships they might have otherwise left. Living together because it’s cheaper isn’t romantic. It’s a roommate arrangement with emotional baggage.

Beyond that, the pandemic years taught a lot of people the value of personal space. Being locked down together was an eye-opener for many couples. For some, it strengthened their bond. For others, it revealed just how much they needed solitude. Now, people are more protective of their routines, their mental health, and their right to have a space that feels like theirs alone.

No-habiting is especially popular among people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond—those who’ve lived independently, developed habits, and might already have kids, careers, or homes of their own. The idea of blending lives entirely, especially if you’ve done it before, just doesn’t appeal in the same way. There’s less pressure to “play house” and more desire to build something lasting without compromising personal stability.

And surprisingly, no-habiting can deepen intimacy. Couples who live separately often communicate more deliberately. They plan quality time instead of defaulting to proximity. They create space to miss each other. And when conflicts arise, they have the room to process without being trapped in the same four walls.

It’s also creating space for more diverse relationship models. “Living apart together” (LAT) relationships are becoming increasingly accepted—even celebrated. These partnerships defy the narrative that love must look a certain way. Instead of merging completely, both people maintain their own homes, finances, and lifestyles—while still choosing each other.

That said, no-habiting isn’t for everyone. Some people want to come home to their partner every night. Some thrive on shared routines and communal living. That’s totally valid. But for those who’ve been burned by moving in too fast or losing themselves in someone else’s space, this new model offers a refreshing alternative.

If you’re considering a no-habiting relationship, communication is everything. Talk about why it appeals to you. Be clear about expectations, boundaries, and how you’ll handle time together versus time apart. It’s not about avoiding closeness—it’s about redefining it.

And if you’re dating someone who wants to live separately, don’t assume it means they’re not serious. In many cases, choosing to love someone without living with them is a deeply intentional act. It says, “I choose you—not because I have to, but because I want to. Every day, again and again.”

In a world that’s finally embracing more flexible ways to love, no-habiting offers a beautiful reminder: a healthy relationship isn’t about sharing a roof—it’s about sharing values, respect, and choice.