There’s a word that’s become increasingly common in dating conversations, both online and off—and it’s not exactly romantic. It’s “the ick.” One moment, you’re vibing with someone, texting nonstop, making plans. The next, they mispronounce a word, chew too loudly, or tuck their napkin into their shirt collar—and suddenly, you can’t unsee it. You’ve caught the ick. And just like that, it’s over.

This dating phenomenon has become something of a cultural obsession, especially among younger singles. TikTok and YouTube are overflowing with confessionals about the most random reasons people have ended promising connections. “He clapped when the plane landed.” “She said ‘yummy’ after every bite.” “He did a little jog across the road when a car let him cross.” It’s hilarious—until it happens to you.

At first glance, it sounds ridiculous. How can something so small have such a big impact? But the ick isn’t about rational decision-making. It’s a gut feeling—sudden, visceral, and often uncontrollable. And in 2025, it’s ending more flings than ghosting ever did.

So why is the ick such a powerful force in dating today? Part of it comes from the sheer volume of choice. With dating apps, DMs, and social platforms making it easier than ever to connect, many people feel like they’re constantly auditioning—and constantly judging. The more options we perceive to have, the lower our tolerance for what used to be seen as charming quirks or harmless habits.

There’s also the rise of curated perfection online. We’re used to seeing people at their filtered best, and when reality creeps in—awkward gestures, unpolished moments—it can feel jarring. That disconnect creates the ick. It’s not just about the action—it’s about the sudden emotional drop when idealized perception clashes with an unexpected dose of the real.

But there’s something deeper at play here, too. The ick is often a cover for discomfort. It’s not always about someone’s laugh or their socks. Sometimes, it’s about the fear of intimacy, the panic that sets in when things are getting too close. Dismissing someone over something superficial gives you an easy out without confronting your deeper anxieties.

And let’s be honest—sometimes the ick is just a red flag in disguise. If someone treats the waiter badly, or constantly one-ups your stories, your reaction might feel like an over-the-top aversion, but it’s your instincts kicking in. In that case, trust it. Not every ick is petty. Some are signals.

Still, there’s a growing conversation around whether the ick is getting out of hand. Are we using it as an excuse to avoid emotional vulnerability? Are we writing people off too soon over things that don’t really matter? When expectations get too high, no one can live up to them. That’s where compassion and perspective have to enter the chat.

Because here’s the thing: we all have our “ick potential.” You probably have a habit that could give someone else the ick if they caught you at the wrong moment. Relationships aren’t about never being cringey. They’re about finding someone whose quirks you not only tolerate, but come to love—or at least gently tease.

If the person you’re dating makes you laugh, listens to you, and treats you with respect, maybe try to let the napkin-in-shirt thing slide. There’s a big difference between a dealbreaker and a momentary cringe. If the ick is based on something shallow, maybe it’s worth pushing through. You might discover a connection that goes far beyond one awkward handshake.

On the other hand, if the ick keeps showing up, take note. It could be your intuition waving a red flag. But be honest with yourself: is it a real incompatibility, or just an emotional reflex? The more self-aware you are, the more clearly you can distinguish between the two.

Dating in 2025 is full of high standards, fast judgments, and polished facades. The ick epidemic is partly a product of that world—but it doesn’t have to define it. Try leaning into the messy bits. Embrace the imperfections. Love, after all, usually blooms in the unpolished spaces—not the curated ones.