You know the type. You’re out on a date, trying to connect, and it’s all going well—until you realise you haven’t said a word in fifteen minutes. They’re still going, oblivious to your silence. You’re nodding politely, holding your wine glass like a lifeline, as they dive deeper into another story about themselves. Welcome to the world of yap-trapping—a modern dating pitfall that’s as awkward as it is exhausting.

It’s a trend that’s gained traction online recently, especially across TikTok and Reddit, where people are calling out what happens when dates become one-sided monologues instead of mutual conversations. The term “yap-trapping” captures that moment when someone talks so much that the other person feels cornered, drowned out, or just plain invisible.

And in 2025, with everyone striving to be seen and heard in an increasingly noisy world, this subtle imbalance is becoming a dealbreaker for many.

The Silent Struggle

Dating, at its best, should feel like a conversation—not a podcast. The magic happens in the back-and-forth: learning about each other, finding shared ground, laughing at weird connections. But when one person dominates the entire exchange, the dynamic tilts. And suddenly, you’re not on a date. You’re an unpaid audience member.

Yap-trapping isn’t just about talking too much. It’s about a lack of awareness. The person doesn’t pick up on cues—like your drifting eye contact, your attempts to interject, or your quiet “mm-hmms.” Instead, they keep going, often jumping from one topic to the next without asking a single question in return.

Sometimes it’s nerves. First dates can be stressful, and people over-talk when they’re anxious. That’s forgivable. But when it happens consistently—on date two, three, four—it signals something deeper. It might be a lack of curiosity. Or empathy. Or social finesse. Whatever it is, it doesn’t bode well for a relationship built on mutual understanding.

The Emotional Impact

Being yap-trapped isn’t just boring—it can feel isolating. You walk away from the date feeling drained, not because of bad chemistry, but because your presence felt optional. You weren’t part of the experience—you were just there.

And this can mess with your confidence. You start questioning whether you’re interesting enough, or whether you should have tried harder to “insert” yourself into the conversation. But the truth is, dating shouldn’t feel like a competition for airtime. If someone’s not making space for you, that’s on them—not you.

In long-term relationships, this dynamic can become more damaging. One-sided communication can breed resentment. When one partner constantly takes the conversational spotlight, the other starts to feel emotionally neglected. Over time, that imbalance seeps into every part of the relationship—from decision-making to intimacy.

Why It’s Happening More Often

Yap-trapping isn’t exactly new—there have always been self-centred talkers. But modern dating culture has made it more noticeable. Social media encourages us to curate our stories, to present ourselves in a way that’s polished and performative. Apps push us to “sell” ourselves quickly and effectively. In that environment, it’s easy to get stuck in broadcast mode.

Add in the rise of dating burnout, and you’ve got a lot of people showing up to dates emotionally depleted—eager to talk, but too tired to listen. And let’s be real: we’re living in a time where deep, focused listening is becoming rare. We’re used to short attention spans, half-listening while scrolling, and communicating in DMs and emojis.

So when someone finally gets a face-to-face moment, they often just unload. But that doesn’t make it okay. Dating is about showing up with someone—not at them.

How to Spot It Early

There are red flags you can watch for—even in messages before the first date. Do they ask you questions, or is every message a monologue? Are they interested in your responses, or just using them as jumping-off points to talk about themselves?

On the date, pay attention to how often they circle the conversation back to you. Do they ask follow-up questions? Do they respond thoughtfully when you share something personal? Or do they steamroll right past your comment and into another story?

One moment of over-talking isn’t a crime. But if the pattern continues, it’s worth noting. Connection should feel mutual. If you’re consistently sidelined, it might be time to move on.

What To Do If You’re Being Yap-Trapped

You don’t have to suffer in silence. Sometimes a gentle interruption can shift the tone:

• “Sorry to jump in—but I’d love to tell you a funny story about that too.”

• “That’s interesting! Can I share my experience with something similar?”

These kinds of interjections aren’t rude—they’re resets. They signal that you want to be involved, not just entertained.

And if you’ve given it a couple of chances and still feel invisible? You have every right to call it. Politely decline another date. You’re not there to validate someone else’s ego. You’re looking for connection—and connection requires reciprocity.

What If You’re Doing the Yap-Trapping?

Hey, it happens. If you’ve recognised yourself in this article, don’t panic. Awareness is the first step. Start by asking more open-ended questions. Practise active listening. Try repeating back what someone’s said to show you’re engaged. And most of all, pause.

Dating isn’t about filling silence—it’s about creating space. Let that space be shared.

Final Thoughts

Yap-trapping might sound like a funny buzzword, but it touches on something serious: how we listen, how we share, and how we show respect to the people we date.

In a world that often feels like everyone’s shouting to be heard, being someone who listens is a rare and beautiful thing. It’s also sexy. Yes, really. Empathy, attentiveness, and curiosity? Total green flags.

So next time you’re on a date, remember: it’s not a performance. It’s a duet.

And if they won’t pass the mic? It’s perfectly fine to leave the stage.