There’s a reason I don’t go into first dates wide-eyed and wallet-first anymore. I’ve been burned. I’ve bought the drinks, shouted the dinners, paid for the weekends away—and ended up wondering if any of it actually meant anything. I used to think generosity was attractive. Now I realise that being smart is a better look. Because the truth is, not everyone is dating with good intentions in 2025. And some of the biggest smiles hide the biggest red flags.

I’ve learned that spotting a gold digger isn’t always about flashy demands or Instagram obsession. Sometimes, it’s more subtle. It’s the way someone asks about what you do before they ask who you are. It’s the way they seem more impressed by your car than your character. It’s not about how much money they want from you upfront—it’s about whether they’re even interested in you without it. And that, my friends, is the first cheat code: if your attention, time, and stories don’t hold value to them, your credit card will be next.

Red flags come in all shapes and tones. Some look like flirty compliments, but leave you feeling a bit off. Others are more obvious—someone never paying, constantly rescheduling, or making passive jabs at your appearance or choices. If you ever find yourself making excuses for someone else’s bad behaviour early on, don’t wait for it to “make sense.” It already does. That person’s not for you.

Here’s the thing I wish I’d told myself years ago: you don’t need to explain basic decency to someone who actually likes you. You won’t need to coach them into texting you back, showing up on time, or showing interest in your life. You won’t need to overcompensate with gifts or plans or emotional labour just to keep them engaged. And if you do, then you’re in a game—not a relationship.

Now let me give you some cheat codes that actually work. First, set boundaries early, and stick to them. If you don’t want to go halves on a date, that’s fine—but if someone gets awkward about splitting, or clearly expects you to always pay, take note. Second, ask deeper questions. Forget “what’s your star sign” or “what do you do for work”—try “what kind of partner do you want to be?” or “what’s a small thing that means a lot to you?” The answers will tell you more than any bio ever could.

Another tip? Pay attention to how they treat people who can’t offer them anything. Watch how they talk about exes, waiters, or even their own friends. If it’s full of negativity or entitlement, it’s only a matter of time before that’s how they’ll talk about you.

But let me be clear: not everyone is out to take from you. There are still amazing people out there, looking for real connection, just like you. I’ve met them. I’ve dated them. Some have become close friends. Some, if I’m honest, I probably should’ve held onto a little longer. So don’t let the bad apples turn you bitter. Let them make you better.

Dating in 2025 is tricky, but it’s not hopeless. If you go in with your eyes open and your heart guarded just enough to protect it—but not so much you can’t share it—you’ll be alright. Don’t fall for the polished profiles or the love-bombing. Fall for kindness. For consistency. For someone who’s interested in you, not what you can give them.

This is Dating Dave. I’ve got my wallet in my pocket, my heart in my chest, and my instincts on high alert—and I’m still out here looking for the real deal. And I know you are too.